Boys will be boys (and so will men)

I have been quiet for to long.  Or perhaps I should say, my children have been UN funny for to long.  We've had little moments of hilarity here and there, but nothing to blog about.  (Remember when that phrase was "nothing to write home about"? 
In fact, the last two weeks have been FAR from funny.  Thanks in great part to my brother.

About 3 weeks ago I got the following text message from "Uncle Jim"...

...Tell your boy to pack his bags, we're going up North this weekend. No Grandmas, No sisters allowed. He doesn't need pants, as we don't wear pants in the North Woods.  Just send him money for beer...

While this should have been a big red flag for me, I knew how excited Ethan was to go up North, so I told him, and we packed his bag.  (He brought pants.)

The second day of their trip Ethan called.  He said "Mommy, I've been saying a bad word."
"What bad word is that, Ethan?"
"Douche Bag."
"You're right, that IS a bad word."
"UNCLE JIM SAYS WE CAN SWEAR IN THE NORTH WOODS."

So it began.  A weekend of Man children (brother included) swearing it up in the woods.

Funny, yes.  But also terrifying.

Fast forward two weeks.  My son is home safe (which I realize is a country miracle.) HOWEVER, there have been MULTIPLE "F bombs", several "shit, shit, shit"'s- and my personal favorite- "Mommy, sometimes we don't listen to you because you're a....(wait for it)....WOMAN.

Kill. Me.Now.

When I SCREAMED at him for that one, he calmly told me "Mommy, I just called you a woman because you ARE a woman."  Way to spin it, kid!

So now I'm set to the task of straightening this child out.  It may take years, and many bars of soap, but I'm going to do it. I think we've made progress over the past week.  I heard one "What the F*&*" yesterday, but today he's transformed into the swearing police- catching every "bad word" I say. You would be surprised how many times a day this...Never mind.  No you wouldn't.

At any rate.  This is where we're at.  A funny little potty mouth boy with the vocabulary to use EVERY word correctly.  Practicing the art of male chauvinism at an incredibly young age. We're very proud.

Meanwhile, the girl child has been stomping and shouting baby swears.  I can't tell yet if it's "Dang it!" or "Damn it!"  but I get the sentiment for sure.  Today marks the first "Are you kidding me?" Which is actually cause for celebration, as it's the longest sentence she's uttered so far in her short life. It sounds a little more like "Ah OHH kitten me?" But again, I get the sentiment.

I hope to get back to crazy, sweet, silly stories any day now- and as I've stated, there have been a few, but since I'm still seeing red, it's hard to concentrate on all that fluffy stuff...

Stay tuned!